Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. - Jalaluddin Rumi

Time to give up!

“If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.”

Good intentions get you started, #COVID happens, and you give up.

I say, YES! do not give up on intentions like fitness and diet, etc.

Persevere with your intentions. Don’t give up. Keep trying.

For me, right now, though, it is time to give up on a failed business, my medical clinic.

Medi-Kel Walk-in clinic has been in business for 18 years. Now it sits closed and empty. COVID killed the walk-in medical business. Too many risks for people to randomly show up at a clinic for medical services. Patient numbers dwindled with the #stayathome orders. When I was in Quebec, the doctors left, and the clinic closed.

I believe in never giving up.  I stayed with this clinic much longer than a reasonable businessperson would have. I started it with my wife, a family doctor, in 2001. It was my baby!

#Nevergiveup can be a form of denial, though, it can be a way to avoid the pain and put off unpleasant decisions indefinitely.

The pain I am avoiding by not giving up my business is the loss of income, but also the loss of an external reference point for my identity. My business was my footprint in the community.  There is the disappointment of the failure and the shame of broken promises. Then there is an uncertain future. The familiar is gone. Finally, I experience second-guessing and self-doubt, haunted by the question, Am I going to be okay?

I can hide all this pain under the mantra of “never give up!”

Sure, I do not want to give up. But at what cost?

What is the price for people who pay for the losses or must cover the debts or have to clean up the financial mess?

Better to face my reality, suffer the pain and cut my losses.

The brave thing to do is to admit it is time to give up!

Now I get to practice what I learned about self-compassion in my last blog post.

This is me applying some self-compassion to my pain:

Dear Self,

I see you trying so hard. I am so proud of you! You have served your community with your medical clinic. Many people benefited from your sacrifices. I am so sorry it has come to an end like this. It’s okay to give it up now! Medi-Kel has served its purpose. It’s okay to feel sad about the loss of your business. It’s okay to feel angry that COVID happened! It’s okay to feel uncertain about the future. It is okay to grieve. Take all the time that you need to process the pain. You are going to be okay. You will get your needs met. You can trust the process. You will recover. Life will get better. Hope will return.

For more self-compassion scripts follow @Lauraduncanconsulting

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A Lockdown Lesson in Self Compassion

2 Comments

  1. How well written! How vulnerable! How needed! Thank you for continuing to give to our community. This article is a gift or honesty and grace. I love you and your family.

  2. Gloria Cowdery

    Self-compassion is something I have had to practice for various reasons in my life.

    Loving yourself and having grace towards yourself does not come easily for me. It is something I am getting better at each day. It is healing, comforting, and empowering.

    Out of that practice I have found new life, lot of hope, and new opportunities! I appreciate what you say, and can relate to it lot – thank you Mike.

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